At 1 week post-delivery, I was about 25 pounds overweight. This was not weight I had gained growing my sweet Lily, this was the extra 5-10 lbs. I had gained each year since delivering Jubilee.
You see, I have never really had an issue with weight. I never watched what I ate and naturally had a body that stayed fairly consistent. I am tall, so that helps…and I have always had a larger backside and small waist.
Does that mean I was ever satisfied with my body?
Even if a person does not struggle with weight, that does not mean that they are confident in their own skin. And, it definitely does not mean they are healthy!
I have lived on whatever I wanted for far too long. Super sweet coffee in the morning, sweet tea throughout the day, treats after every meal for myself and the kids, ice cream most nights…and not a veggie in the house.
So, I saw a program in town that claimed you could lose 40 lbs in 40 days. I thought…well, I have no idea about that, but if I could lose 25, that would be great.
So, I paid the money…and I lost the weight. That gets us here.
What I am left with is a body that is definitely leaner and possibly healthier. But, I am still missing a lot.
You see, I still have not dealt with my heart and the issues that I have emotionally that I am wanting to use food to fix.
I picked the hardest season of my life to say, “I will not use food to heal my emotions” and I went on a super restrictive diet to lose the weight that needed to go. But, now that I am done and in “maintenance” I have great anxiety and fear that this will have all been for nothing and that I will go back to eating normally and just gain it all back.
So, I am starting again. This time, with a plan that I believe will help me figure out the right foods for me…I believe it will be the missing piece that helps me enjoy food without fear and without severe restriction…I believe that healing my heart along the way will help the scale.
I am so excited to begin.
If you will allow me to…I would like to document the process here of all that I am learning and how I am internalizing what I am learning to change my heart. Plus, I would love to have a place to come back to when things are hard or frustrating to remember what my initial thoughts were!
If you are in a season where you would like to get healthier, feel free to leave comments below that you can come back to in the future as well!! I would love to have some buddies in this!